Before you went away
by 100thAngel
Summary: An early YX, YQ birthday fic


**A/N:** This was very unintentional and short but Happy Birthday to the twins anyway.

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 **†Before you went away†**

 _We started out in the same place, but you were born first and I guess that meant you were more important than me from the start. You were the heir and I was left in your shadow as you basked in the light. For that, I have always resented you._

"You did well," Mother said without fanfare, handing my report card back to me. I looked down at the piece of paper and felt exhilaration erupt in my chest. All As. Perfect marks.

"Let me see yours." She held out a hand towards Brother and he passed over the envelope containing the grades we received from our personal instructors. She deftly opened the envelope and quickly scanned the contents of the letter. "Excellent!" she exclaimed a moment later. She looked at him with a twinkle in her eyes and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You must continue to do well in the future, do you understand? Do not disappoint this family."

After that, Mother left the room, switching off the lights. I watched her go until I heard the soft click of the lock turning, trapping us inside.

It was 8 o'clock. Bedtime.

Of course, neither of us actually went to bed. It was our little secret.

Although it was dark, the window provided some light. I could see Brother as he walked over to the toy box, neatly arranged in the corner. He rifled through it and a few seconds later, pulled out a large book, the title written in Latin.

I knew exactly what that book contained. Brother already knew I knew so he said nothing as he opened it. Inside, the pages had been carved out to make room for a portable gaming system, the latest on the market.

Brother tossed the book aside heartlessly and started up a game, the volume on silent so as not to alert our parents next door. He sat quietly on the floor as he played, completely immersed. If I didn't know better, I would've thought he had forgotten about my existence entirely.

But Brother wasn't like that. He was always aware of my presence, so he didn't jump when I sat down next to him and placed my head on his shoulder, peering down at the screen.

"Is it really that much fun," I asked. Video games never really caught my interest. I was always more focused on trying to catch up to my brother. To surpass him.

"Yeah," he mumbled, focused, but I could hear the joy in his voice. It was one of the rare times Brother ever looked truly alive.

I really hated him for that.

He had found something that made him happy while I had nothing. I was jealous. I knew the feeling all too well. I'd learnt of it before I could even speak a proper sentence.

But at the same time, I was happy that he was happy.

Brother often looked listless these days. If this, if video games were the only things that brought that spark back into his eyes, then why shouldn't I be happy? Because we are twins, shouldn't his happiness mean my happiness as well.

So from time to time, I would just sit beside him and marvel at the speed of his fingers as he effortlessly cleared stage after stage.

Sometimes, I felt that only Brother genuinely loved me because after each clear, he would smile at me and lean in closer, almost as if we were always meant to be together.

At one point, I almost fooled myself thinking that were true. That Brother would never leave me. That he would always be there to grin and tease me for acting like a child, like he wasn't one himself.

But on that night, Brother didn't try to provoke me.

My eyes had already fallen shut but I had yet to fall asleep, caught in that weird state between awake and oblivion.

I felt the warmth of arms encircling me, hefting me up and carrying me over to the bed, lying me gently on the mattress. I heard the drawer from the nightstand opening and smelt the unmistakable scent of sweet chocolate. There was a _click_ and something warm neared my cheek.

I opened my eyes to see a small flame dancing in the darkness of the room. "Make a wish," a face identical to my own said behind the flame, his eyes glowing like molten gold but soft, gentle... loving. It was a sight I only saw once a year. That's what made it so special.

My head lifted off the pillow and I leaned forward, pursing my lips. Ye Xiu did the same, in sync with me.

 _My dear Brother..._

The room was once again shrouded in darkness as the flame was blown out.

 _If I had one and only one wish, it would be-_

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 **A/N:** So, I'm a bit depressed today. Hating living with my parents and not being able to move out because rent, bills, and student loans always eat up my paycheck, leaving me with only a few bucks I put towards food, necessities, and pet care. Hoping you guys are having a better day than me. It's raining outside right now, is anyone looking up at a clear, beautiful sky? Wish I could teleport over there instead.


End file.
